Written by Ben Pogany
1) "No soup for you!"
2) "The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli..."
3) "Hellooo Newman..."
4) "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
5) "Yada yada yada"
6) "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
7) "Oh, noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the Moops. The correct answer is...the Moops."
8) "SERENITY NOW!!"
9) "Well the jerk store called, they're running outta you!"
10) "You dipped the chip. You took a bite, and you dipped again...That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it."
11) "You are soooo good looking..."
12) "You put the balm on?! Who told you to put the balm on?! I didn't tell you to put the balm on! Why'd you put the balm on?!!"
13) "That is one magic loogie."
14) "I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami."
15) "Just remember, when you control the mail, you control... information."
16) "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint; it's delicious!"
17) "So, anyway, if you think about it, manure is not really that bad a word. I mean, it's 'newer', which is good, and a 'ma' in front of it, which is also good. Ma-newer, right?"
18) "I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?"
19) "And you wanna be my latex salesman..."
20) "Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."
21) "Unfortunately, I didn't have a partner. I got gonorrhea from a tractor."
22) "I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!"
23) "Believe it or not, George isn't at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I beee? Believe it or not, I'm not hoooommme."
24) "You don't understand. A garage. I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?"
25) "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine. That's gold, Jerry! Gold!"