Wednesday Jun 28
Written by Ben Pogany

16 seasons after Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny first entered our living rooms, South Park continues to be one of the most brilliant, provocative, and downright hilarious shows on TV.  After sifting through 230 episodes, here are Definitive Dose's picks for the 30 most awesomely hilarious moments thus far.

  1. $3.50--Watch Clip
  2. Dey Tuk er Jobs! --   Watch Clip
  3. Stupid Mongorians! -- Watch Clip
  4. Scott Tennerman Eats Cartman's Chili con Carne --   Watch Clip
  5. "People Who Annoy You" -- Watch Clip
  6. Kyle's Mom's A Bitch--Watch Clip
  7. Trapped in the Closet --   Watch Clip
  8. Tacos and Burritos --   Watch Clip
  9. A Lonely Jew On Christmas-- Watch Clip
  10. Lemiwinks --   Watch Clip
  11. Kanye is a Gay Fish, Yo-- Watch Clip
  12. "Whateva, I Do What I Want!"-- Watch Clip
  13. Mr. Jefferson's Slumber Party -- Watch Clip
  14. "Towelie, You're The Worst Character Ever" --   Watch Clip
  15. Chocolate Salty Balls -- Watch Clip
  16. Cartman's Dry Balls Dream -- Watch Clip
  17. Montage! -- Watch Clip
  18. Cartman Takes The Passion Too Far-  Watch Clip
  19. Professor Chaos Goes Anime-  Watch Clip
  20. Randy Chases The Dragon -- Watch Clip
  21. "They Put A Little Suit On Him!"--Watch Clip
  22. "Stick Your Finger In My Thresher"- Watch Clip
  23. Cripple Fight!! --   Watch Clip
  24. Cartmen Sings Poker Face- Watch Clip
  25. World of Warcraft- Watch Clip
  26. "No Kitty This Is My Pot Pie!"-  Watch Clip
  27. Jew Gold- Watch Clip
  28. Chef Returns- Watch Clip
  29. Butt Faces -- Watch Clip
  30. Douche and a Turd Sandwich-- Watch Clip

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Written by Ben Pogany
Some say winning isn't everything.  And that's probably true; after all, there is that next big contract to consider.  But for these 35, winning wasn't just everything, for much of their careers it was the only thing.
  1. Bill Russell--2 college championships with the University of San Fran (which included a 55-game win streak at one point), an Olympic gold medal, and 11 NBA championships in 13 years.  Just insane.
  2. Michael Phelps--28 Olympic medals including 23 golds make Phelps the most decorated Olympian of all time.
  3. Rocky Marciano--Only heavyweight to retire undefeated at 49-0.  Not bad for a white guy from Brockton, MA.
  4. Jack Nicklaus--18 majors including 4 US Open wins, and 6 green jackets. with 73 PGA Tour wins overall.
  5. Tiger Woods--14 majors, 78 PGA tour wins, and 39 European tour wins.
  6. Yogi Berra- 10 World Series rings as a player and another 3 as a coach.
  7. Henri Richard--Nicknamed "The Pocket-Rocket" (I kid you not), Richard won 11 Stanley Cups with the Montreal Canadiens in his 20-year NHL career..
  8. Joe Dimaggio--9-time World Series champion and 1 Marylin Monroe.
  9. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar-6-time NBA champion, 3-time college champ with UCLA (over which they went 88-2), and captain of a Power Memorial High School basketball team that won 71 straight games and 3 New York City Catholic championships.
  10. Roger Federer--18 Grand Slams and 89 career titles.
  11. Pele--Only soccer player to be a part of 3 World Cup-winning teams.  Pele also led his original club team, Santos, to 10 championships in the Campeonato Paulinista league.  And let us not forget his 1977 North American Soccer League championship with the New York Cosmos.
  12. Michael Jordan--6 championships in 8 years, 2 gold medals, and 1 NCAA championship with the Tarheels.
  13. Tom Brady- 5 Super Bowls, 2 league MVPs, 12 division titles and a quarterback high 208 regular + postseason victories.
  14. Pete Sampras--64 career titles including 14 Slams.
  15. Alexander Karelin--Though most remembered here in America for his stunning defeat at the hands of Rulon Gardner, "Alexander The Great" went undefeated in international Greco-Roman wrestling competition for thirteen years, the last six of which he didn't even give up a single point.
  16. Otto Graham-- Took the Cleveland Browns to the championship game in every one of the ten years he played, winning seven and going 105-17-4 over that span. He also won a championship playing professional hoops with the Rochester Royals.
  17. Martina Navratilova-- 167 singles and 177 doubles career titles (both records for men or women) Her singles career includes 9 Wimbledons and 4 US Opens.
  18. Lance Armstrong--He might be doper, but he's the winningest doper there ever was.
  19. Mickey Mantle--7 World Series rings in 12 years and a 1956 Triple Crown.
  20. Larissa Latynina--The Soviet gymnast has held the all-time Olympic medal record for nearly a half century with 18, including nine golds.
  21. Carl Lewis--9 Olympic golds and 8 world championship golds.  Side note: Lewis was drafted by both the NBA and NFL, though never played a game for either.
  22. Kelly Slater--The most decorated surfer of all time has won a record 11 ASP World Championships, his titles spanning an incredible eighteen years from age 20 to 38.
  23. Edwin Moses-- Won an astounding 122 consecutive races (107 finals), 2 Olympic golds, and 2 World Championship golds.
  24. Robert Horry--7-time NBA champion with 3 different teams.
  25. John Havlicek-- 8-time NBA champion and a NCAA title.
  26. Cael Sanderson-- Wrested to an incredible record of 159-0 with 4 consecutive NCAA titles for Iowa St before capturing gold in Athens 2004.
  27. Bill Dickey-- 8-time World Series Champ.
  28. Magic Johnson--5-time NBA champion, 1 gold medal, and enough money to makes AIDS his bitch.
  29. Bart Starr--5-time Super Bowl champion
  30. Joe Montana--4-time Super Bowl champion and an NCAA national title at Notre Dame.
  31. Lou Gehrig--6-time World Series champion and the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.
  32. Kobe Bryant--5-NBA championships (one more than Shaq) and 2 gold medals.
  33. Shaquille O'Neal--- 4-time NBA champion, 6 crappy albums and 11 crappy movies (see: Kazaam)   And he beat up Golden Boy Oscar De La Hoya.
  34. Babe Ruth--7 World Series trophies with both the Sox and Yankees.
  35. Derek Jeter--5-time World Series champion.

Honorable Mentions: Mark Spitz, Terry Bradshaw, Paula Newby-Frasier, Bjorn Daehlie, Nikolai Andrianov, Sam Jones, Sean White, Bjorn Borg, Tom Heinsohn, Bob Cousy, Jimmy Conners, Ivan Lendi, Ben Hogan, Paavo Nurvi, Ole Einar Bjorndalen, Lidiya Skoblikova, Sam Snead, Walter Hagan, Lynn Swann, Andre Agassi, Bode Miller, Tony Hawk, Chris Evert, Larry Bird, Tim Duncan, Mariano Rivera, Rafael Nadal, Edoardo Mangiarotti, Steffi Graff.

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Written by Ben Pogany
  1. Meryl Streep: The Deer Hunter, Sophie's Choice, Kramer vs. Kramer, Out of Africa, Doubt, The Bridges of Madison Country, Iron Lady, The Hours, Adaptation, The French Lieutenant's Wife, Silkwood, Ironweed, A Cry in the Dark, Postcards From the Edge, One True Thing, Music of the Heart, The Devil Wears Prada, Julie and Julia, Manhattan, August: Orange County.
  2. Judi Dench: Mrs. Brown, Shakespeare in Love, Notes on a Scandal, Chocolat, Philomena, Casino Royale, Iris, The Shipping News, Mrs Henderson Presents, Cranford.
  3. Diane Keaton: Annie Hall, The Godfather II, Something's Gotta Give, Reds, Marvin's Room, Manhattan, Looking for Mr. Goodbar, Shoot the Moon, Mrs. Soffel, Baby Boom.
  4. Susan Sarandon: Dead Man Walking, Atlantic City, Bull Durham, Thelma & Louise, White Palace, Lorenzo's Oil, The Client, Stepmom, Igby Goes Down.
  5. Faye Dunaway: Network, Chinatown, Bonnie and Clyde, Mommie Dearest, The Thomas Crown Affair, Three Days of the Condor, Barfly, Hurry Sundown, Puzzle of a Downfall Child, The Towering Inferno.
  6. Vanessa Redgrave: Julia, Morgan: A Suitable Case for Treatment, Howards End, Camelot, Isadora, Mary Queen of Scots, The Bostonians, Prick Up Your Ears, A Month by the Lake, The Gathering Storm
  7. Jodie Foster: Silence of the Lambs, Taxi Driver, The Accused, Contact, Nell, Panic Room, Brave One, Bugsy Malone, Inside Man, Freaky Friday.
  8. Ellen Burstyn: Requiem For a Dream, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, The Exorcist, The Last Picture Show, Same Time Next Year, Resurrection, The People vs. Jean Harris, Silence of the North, Pack of Lies, Mrs. Harris.
  9. Julianne Moore: Still Alice, Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Far from Heaven, The Big Lebowski, The End of the Affair, The Kids Are Alright, The Hours, Game Change, A Single Man, Children of Men.
  10. Glenn Close: Fatal Attraction, The World According to Garp, Albert Nobbs, Dangerous Liaisons, 101 Dalmatiansl.
  11. Jane Fonda: Coming Home, Klute, The China Syndrome, On Golden Pond, The Shoot Horses Dont They?
  12. Julia Roberts: Erin Brockovich, Pretty Woman, Notting Hill, My Best Friend's Wedding, Steel Magnolias.
  13. Shirley Maclane: Terms of Endearment, Madame Sousatzka, The Turning Point, Irma la Douce, The Apartment.
  14. Emma Thompson: Howard's End, In the Name of the Father, The Remains of the Day, Sense and Sensibility, Harry Potter Franchise.
  15. Annette Bening: American Beauty, The Kids Are All Right, Being Julia, Mrs Harris, The Grifters, The American President, Bugsy, Open Range, Running with Scissors, The Seige.
  16. Helen Mirren: The Last Station, The Queen, Gosford Park, The Madness of King George, Hitchcock.
  17. Nicole Kidman: The Hours, Rabbit Hole, The Others, To Die For, Moulin Rouge!.
  18. Sally Field: Places in the Heart, Norma Rae, Lincoln, Forrest Gump, Steel Magnolias.
  19. Jessica Lange: Blue Sky, Tootsie, Frances, A Streetcar Named Desire, Grey Gardens
  20. Kathy Bates: Misery, Fried Green Tomatoes, Dolores Claiborne, Primary Colors, About Schmidt.
  21. Kate Winslet: Hamlet, Titanic, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, Finding Neverland, Sense and Sensibility, Little Children, Iris, Quills.
  22. Maggie Smith: The Prime of Mrs. Jean Brodie, California Suite, Gosford Park, A Room With a View, Harry Potter Franchise.
  23. Cate Blanchett: Lord of the Rings, I'm Not There, The Aviator, Blue Jasmine, Notes on a Scandal, Elizabeth, The Talented Mr. Ripley, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Bandits, Elizabeth: Thee Golden Age.
  24. Natalie Portman: Black Swan, Closer, Leon, Jackie, Star Wars Movies, Garden State, V For Vendetta, Beautiful Girls, Brothers, Anywhere but Here, Where the Heart Is.
  25. Frances McDormand: Fargo, Almost Famous, Blood Simple, Mississippi Burning, North Country.
  26. Sissy Spacek: Coal Miner's Daughter, Carrie, In the Bedroom, Badlands, Crimes of the Heart, Missing, The Straight Story, The River, Raggedy Man, Tuck Everlasting.
  27. Sigourney Weaver: Alien Movies, Ghostbusters, Gorillas in the Mist: The Story of Dian Fossey, Working Girl, Avatar.
  28. Viola Davis: The Help, Doubt, Fences, Prisoners.
  29. Amy Adams: Arrival, American Hustle, The Master, The Fighter, Doubt, Enchanted.
  30. Hilary Swank: Boys Don't Cry, Million Dollar Baby, Insomnia, Amelia, Conviction.
  31. Tilda Swinton: Michael Clayton, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Deep End, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Julia.
  32. Laura Linney: You Can Count on Me, Kinsey, Mystic River, The Squid and the Whale, The Life of David Gale.
  33. Sharon Stone: Casino, Basic Instinct, The Quick and the Dead
  34. Gwyneth Paltrow: Shakespeare in Love, Se7en, Iron Man, The Royal Tenenbaums, Emma.
  35. Kim Basinger: L.A. Confidential, The Natural, My Stepmother Is An Alien.
  36. Charlize Theron: Monster, North Country, The Cider House Rules.
  37. Diane Wiest: Bullets Over Broadway, Hannah and Her Sisters, Edward Scissorhands
  38. Sandra Bullock: The Blind Side, Speed, Gravity, Crash, A Time to Kill.
  39. Holly Hunter: The Piano, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Raising Arizona, Broadcast News, Thirteen.
  40. Anjelica Houston: Prizzi's Honor, The Grifters, The Royal Tenenbaums, Iron Jawed Angels, The Adams Family.
  41. Julie Christie: Darling, Doctor Zhivago, Away From Her, Afterglow, McCabe & Mrs. Miller.
  42. Judy Davis: Husbands and Wives, Barton Fink, A Passage to India.
  43. Michelle Williams: Brokeback Mountain, My Week with Marilyn, Blue Valentine, Manchester by the Sea, Shutter Island, Wendy and Lucy
  44. Helena Bonham Carter: The King's Speech, The Wings of the Dove, Harry Potter Movies, Fight Club, Sweeney Todd.
  45. Emily Watson: Breaking the Waves, The Boxer, Hilary and Jackie, Gosford Park, Red Dragon.
  46. Halle Berry: Monster's Ball, X-Men, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge.
  47. Naomi Watts: 21 Grams, Mulholland Drive, The Impossible, King Kong, The Ring.
  48. Jessica Chastain: Zero Dark Thirty, The Help, The Tree of Life, Take Shelter, The Debt.
  49. Jennifer Connelly: Requiem For A Dream, A Beautiful Mind, House of Sand and Fog, Blood Diamond, Once Upon a Time in America
  50. Anne Hathaway: Les Miserables, Rachel Getting Married, The Dark Knight Rises.

Note: Actresses must have appeared in at least one 21st century movie to be considered "modern."

*Best Actress/Supporting Actress Academy Award winning performances appear in italics.

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Written by Ben Pogany
  1. Jim Thorpe- His Indian name translates to Bright Path, and in every one of the countless paths Thorpe took over his legendary career, he shone with a brightness that few could match.  Gold medals in pentathlon and decathlon, Hall of Fame honors in both college and pro football, and stints playing professional baseball and basketball. Heck, Thorpe even won the 1912 inter-collegiate ballroom dancing championship.  We'll always be left to wonder how Thorpe would have fared among today's athletes, but with his unprecedented versatility and all-around dominance of his era, it's almost impossible to say he's anything but the number one multi-sport athlete of all time.

  2. Bo Jackson- Oh, what could have been.  A Heisman Trophy winner out of Auburn, Bo electrified NFL scouts right out of the gates by running an unheard of 4.12 40-yard dash at the combine.  Drafted by Tampa Bay as the first pick of the 1986 NFL Draft, Vincent Edward Jackson instead went to play for the Kansas City Royals and in doing so cost Tampa their rights to him.  Seeing his potential, Al Davis would subsequently re-draft Jackson despite the baseball career, signing him to a lucrative deal that allowed him to continue playing in the MLB while joining the Raiders in the offseason. Just 29 days into his NFL career, Bo exploded for an astonishing 221-yard rushing performance on Monday Night Football.  Tragically, barely four years later a hit by Kevin Walker in the 1990 playoffs ravaged his hip, effectively ending what was quickly proving to be one of the most promising careers in professional sports history.  Bo would struggle through another couple of years of baseball, but with his legendary speed gone, his days of dominance were clearly behind him.

  3. Babe Didrikson Zaharias- Though lacking the notoriety of her male namesake, BDZ is widely considered to be the greatest female athlete to ever walk the planet.  The female Bambino won gold medals in track and field, achieved All-American status as a basketball player, barnstormed with the local baseball team, and was even reported to bowl an average of 170.  Capping it all off was her legendary golf career, in which she positively dominated her peers to win every tournament in existence at the time including 10 LPGA majors and 82 tourneys overall.  Damn...

  4. Deion Sanders- Prime Time was a part time outfielder and an all-time cornerback, collecting rings for both the World Series and Superbowl.

  5. Jim Brown- In addition to being just about the greatest football player to ever step on the gridiron, Brown holds a place in the Lacrosse Hall of Fame, scoring 43 goals in 10 games in his All-American senior season at Syracuse.

  6. Lionel Conacher- Though that name might not ring a bell to many Americans, Conacher was Mr. Canada in the early to mid 20th century.  Conacher won championships in hockey, baseball, boxing, wresting, and lacrosse.  (Sadly, his professional football efforts fell short of a title.)  He is a member of four different halls of fame and even won a seat on the House of Commons after he hung up the cleats, skates, and gloves.
  7. Bob Hayes- Before Hayes was a Hall of Fame receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, he was winning gold medals in Tokyo as a world record-holding sprinter.  As a result, he is the only person who can wear a Super Bowl ring on his finger and Olympic gold around his neck without going on Ebay.

  8. Charlie Ward- Ward entered the public consciousness in 1993, quarterbacking his Florida St Seminoles to a national championship and along the way capturing just about every honor a collegiate football player can win, including, of course, the Heisman.  Though not even playing baseball in college, he was drafted as a pitcher by the Milwaukee Brewers.  Upset that he wasn't taken in the first round of the 1994 NFL Draft, Ward instead opted to go play for the New York Knicks, who had selected him 26th in the NBA Draft of the same year. Ward played 11 years in the NBA before being forced to retire due to injuries in 2005.

  9. Otto Graham- Arguably the greatest quarterback to ever strap on a pair of cleats, Otto would go on to win 11 championships in 11 years, 10 with the Cleveland Browns and another with the Rochester Royals of the National Basketball League.

  10. Gene Conley- While Deion is the only person to have won both a World Series and a Super Bowl, Conley can boast being the only person to win a World Series and an NBA Championship.  Conley pitched 11 seasons in the MLB, compiling 91 wins and a 3.82 ERA for four different clubs.  He also concurrently played in the NBA for six seasons, racking up three championships with the Russell-led Celtics.

  11. Dave Winfield- Playing hoops for the Minnesota Golden Gophers (for which he would help lead to a conference title), his coach Bill Musselman later called Winfield the greatest rebounder he'd ever coached, quite a distinction considering Musselman would coach for over thirty years, nearly half of which time would be on the professional level. Drafted by all four major professional sports leagues, Winfield earned his stripes in baseball, appearing in 12 All-Star games and capturing 7 Gold Gloves.  He ended his career a member of both the prestigious 3000-hit club, and the even more prestigious Baseball Hall of Fame.

  12. Hobey Baker-A pioneering amateur athlete of the early 20th Century until his untimely death in a plane crash at just 26, Baker had since been honored by both the College Football and Hockey Hall of Fames, the only person to ever do so.

  13. Danny Ainge- Long before he ran operations for the Celtics, Danny dominated the high school sports world, and is still the only person to win first team All-American honors in basketball, baseball, and football. Ainge was drafted out of college by the Toronto Blue Jays, and kicked things off with a bang, where he would hit his first home run at 20 years, 77 days, a record that survives to this day as the youngest Jay to go yard. After a mediocre three years in Toronto, he was drafted by the Boston Celtics in 1981, where he would contribute to two championships.  Over a fourteen year NBA career, Ainge finished with an impressive 11,964 points and 4,199 assists.
  14. Herschel Walker- A physical specimen even at the ripe old age of 50, Herschel recently made waves in the MMA community, putting his 5th-degree black belt in Taekwondo to use by clobbering his first two opponents in Strikeforce. More importantly, the former Heisman Trophy winner currently holds the NFL's eighth spot for total combined yards, though had he not spent the early part of his career in the ill-fated USFL, he may very well have finished #1.  Herschel was even a member of the 1992 Olympic bobsled team (seriously), with which he finished seventh.

  15. Dick Groat- Best known for his prolific career as an MVP shortstop, in which he accumulated two rings and over 2000 hits, Groat began his athletic career as a Collegiate Hall of Fame guard at Duke.  A two-time All-American, his #10 jersey would be the first ever retired by the school.  Groat was drafted 3rd overall by the Pistons, but he would play only one year in the NBA before being called away to military service.  When he returned home, he opted to pick up the bat instead and the rest is history.

  16. Brian Jordan- Jordan spent two years as an NFL safety for the Atlanta Falcons before jumping to baseball, where he would go on to become a solid contributor to the Cardinals, Braves, Dodgers and Rangers en route to 184 career home runs and a .282 AVG.

  17. Chuck Conners- Our third Celtic on this list is probably best known for playing the lead man on the 1960's hit western series The Rifleman.  However, Conners found time early on to play for both the Celtics and Dodgers, and was even drafted by the Chicago Bears.
  18. Clara Hughes- Clara won Olympic golds in both speed skating and cycling.

  19. Dave Debusschere- Debusschere pitched a year for the Chicago White Sox (finishing with a 2.90 ERA) before becoming an 8-time All-Star, 2-time champion, Hall of Fame power forward for the Pistons and Knicks.

  20. Stephen Neal- Though best known as a three-time champion guard for the New England Patriots, Neal compiled quite the resume as an amateur wrestler, including posting a 151-10 record at Cal St Bakersfield (in which he won his second title victory against now UFC villain Brock Lesner).  He would go on to win both a Pan American Championship and a World Championship en route to being named the best wrestler in the world in 1999.

  21. Dave Logan- Logan was drafted by the NBA, MLB, and NFL before embarking on a successful 9-year career at wideout for the Browns and Broncos.
  22. Wilt Chamberlain- Perhaps the world leader in ass-tappage, the Stilt is enshrined in both the basketball and volleyball halls of fame.

  23. Jackie Robinson- The Dodger revolutionary graduated UCLA as the first person in school history to letter in four sports (baseball, basketball, football, and track and field). Jackie would play professional football in the Pacific Coast League before his momentous entrance into Major League Baseball in 1947.

  24. DJ Dozier- Dozier played five seasons as running back in the NFL before jumping over to the Mets for a single season in 1992.

  25. Willie Gault- An 11-year receiver for the Bears and Raiders, Gault was also a member of the Olympic track and bobsled teams that boycotted the 1980 Moscow games.


------------------------------------------Honorable Mentions:-------------------------------------------
Joe Mauer- Named the national high school player of the year in both baseball and football before ultimately claiming a cool $184 million contract to catch for the Twins. Tim Duncan (record-setting competitive swimmer in his native Virgin Islands before becoming one of the most celebrated power forwards of all time)Antonio Gates- (one of the greatest tight ends of past last decade, Antonio first made headlines by taking his Kent State Golden Flashes to the Elite Eight in 2002), Allen Iverson (named top basketball and football player in Virginia as a high school junior), Michael Jordan (minor league baseball player for the Birmingham Barons and even found time to play a little basketball for some team called the Bulls), Hakeem Olajuwon (soccer and basketball), Mark Hendrickson (basketball and baseball), Nathaniel Clifton (played baseball in the Negro leagues before becoming the first black athlete to win an NBA contract), Scott Burrell (first athlete to ever be drafted in the first round in both the NBA and MLB), Ron Reed (baseball and basketball), Steve Hamilton (baseball and basketball), John Elway (originally played minor league ball for the Yankees and Royals), Dan Marino (drafted by Kansas City Royals), Cotton Nash (baseball and basketball), Ed "Too Tall" Jones (took a brief hiatus from the NFL to enter professional boxing, compiling a record of 6-0 including the knockout of future heavyweight champ of Mexico Fernando Montes), Frank Baumholtz (baseball and basketball), Dick Ricketts (baseball and basketball), Marion Jones (track, basketball, and professional doping), Howie Schultz (baseball and basketball) Shaun White (snowboarding and skateboarding).
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Last Updated (Thursday, 22 June 2017 16:20) Written by Ben Pogany
1)  USA- 2662 total medals   (1067 golds) 
---Summer: 2408   (first overall)
---Winter: 254    (second overall)
Historically dominant sports: Track and Field (781 medals, more than that of the next five countries combined!), Swimming (518), Diving (132), Basketball (24, 19 of which were gold), Figure Skating (47),  Snowboarding (19), Shooting (107), Boxing (108), Freestyle Skiing (14), Rowing (87)
Greatest Olympians: Michael Phelps (swimming), Jesse Owens (athletics), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (long jump, heptathlon), Jim Thorpe (pentathlon, decathlon), Carl Lewis (athletics), Edwin Moses (hurdles), Cassius Clay (boxing), Babe Didrikson (track and field), Mark Spitz (swimming), Rafer Johnson (decathlon), Greg Louganis (diving), Eric Heiden (speed skating), Al Oerter (discus), Bonnie Blair (speed skating), Michael Johnson (sprinting), Florence Griffith-Joyner (track), Bob Mathias (decathlon), Bob Beamon (long jump), Dan O'Brien (decathlon), Wilma Rudolph (track), Ray Ewry (track and field), Apolo Anton Ohno (speed skating), Matthew Biondi (swimming), Bruce Jenner (decathlon), Mary Lou Retton (gymnastics), Jenny Thompson (swimming) Dara Torres (swimming), Dick Fosbury (high jump), Johnny Weismuller (swimming).
---London 2012 medal count: 104 (46 gold)
---2012's top performers: Michael Phelps, Missy Franklin, men and women's basketball, women's soccer, Gabby Douglas and the women's gymnastics team, Felix Allyson, Sanya Richards-Ross, women's beach volleyball, Allison Schmitt, Dana Volmer, women's 4x100 and 400 relay and 4x100 medley relay, Serena Williams, Ashton Eaton, Ryan Lochte, David Boudia, Kimberly Rhode, women's water polo, men's 4x100 and 200 freestyle relay
2)  Soviet Union- 1204 total medals   (473 golds)
---Summer: 1010   (second overall)
---Winter: 194   (fifth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Gymnastics (193), Volleyball (12), Weightlifting (62)
Greatest Olympians: Larisa Latynina (gymnastics), Olga Korbut (gymnastics), Nikolai Andrianov (gymnastics), Boris Shakhlin (gymnastics), Lidia Skoblikova (speed skating), Irina Rodnina (figure skating), Dmitry Bilozerchev (gymnastics), Vladislav Tretyak (hockey goalie), Nellie Kim (gymnastics), Pavel Lednyov (modern pentathlon)
3)  Germany- 937 total medals   (291 golds) 
---Summer: 722   (fourth overall)
---Winter: 209   (third overall)
Historically dominant sports: Biathlon (43),  Luge (31)
Greatest Olympians: Brigit Fischer (canoeing), Claudia Pechstein (speed skating), Reiner Klimke (equestrian), Hans Günter Winkler (equestrian), Kati Wilhelm (biathlon)
---London 2012 medal count: 44 (11 golds)
---2012's top performers: Men's beach volleyball, Robert Harting, women's sprint cycling, team equestrian, men's field hockey, men's rowing
4) Great Britain-828 total medals   (251 golds) 
---Summer: 803   (third overall)
---Winter: 25   (twenty-first overall)
Historically dominant sports: Tennis (41)
Greatest Olympians: Steve Redgrave (rowing), Daley Thompson (decathlon), Sebastian Coe (track), Chris Hoy (cycling), Jayne Torvill and Christophen Dean (ice dancing), Mohamed Farah (long distance running)
---London 2012 medal count: 65 (29 golds)
---2012's top performers: Mohamed Farah, Andy Murray, Jessica Ennis, men and women's track cycling, Alistair Brownlee, Greg Rutherford, women's rowing, Bradley Wiggins, men's canoe double, Charlotte Dejardin, Chris Hoy
5)  France- 815 total medals   (248 golds)
---Summer: 721   (fifth overall)
---Winter: 156    (twelfth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Cycling (96)
Greatest Olympians: Christian d'Oriola (fencing), Jean-Claude Killy (alpine skiing), The Goitschel sisters (alpine skiing), David Douillet (judo)
---London 2012 medal count: 34 (11 golds)
---2012's top performers: Agnel Yannick and the men's 4x100 freestyle relay, men's handball, Renaud Lavillenie, Camille Moufatt, women's basketball.
6)  Italy- 679 total medals   (245 golds) 
---Summer: 571   (sixth overall)
---Winter: 109    (eleventh overall)
Greatest Olympians: Edoardo Mangiarotti (fencing), Alberto Tomba (alpine skiing), Nedo Nadi (fencing)
---London 2012 medal count: 28 (8 golds)
---2012's top performers: Men's archery, men and women's team foil, men's water polo, Elisa Di Francisca
7)  Sweden- 628 total medals   (195 golds) 
---Summer: 496   (seventh overall)
---Winter: 129    (eighth overall)
Greatest Olympians: Gert Fredriksson (canoeing), Gunde Svan (cross-country skiing), Gillis Grafström (figure skating), Sixten Jernberg (cross-country skiing), Ingemar Stenmark (alpine skiing)
---London 2012 medal count: 8 (1 gold)
---2012's top performers: Men's star sailing, Lisa Norden, men's handball
8)  East Germany- 519 total medals   (192 golds) 
---Summer: 409   (tenth overall)
---Winter: 100    (tenth overall)
Greatest Olympians: Kristin Otto (swimming), Katarina Witt (figure skating), Brigit Fischer (canoeing), Roland Matthes (swimming)
9) China- 512 total medals   (207 gold)
---Summer: 468   (tied for ninth overall)
---Winter: 44   (sixteenth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Badminton (38), Table Tennis (45)
Greatest Olympians: Guo Jingjing (diving), Wang Meng (speed skating), Wang Nan (table tennis), Li Xiaopeng (gymnastics), Wang Junxia (long-distance runner), Deng Yaping (table tennis), Gao Ling (badminton)
---London 2012 medal count: 87 (38 gold)
---2012's top performers: Men's gymnastics, Ye Shiwen, men and women's badminton, men and women's synchronized diving, Sun Yang, men and women's table tennis, Chen Ding, Kai Zhou, Ruolin Chen, Minxia Wu
10)  Hungary- 494 total medals   (169 golds)  
---Summer: 488   (eighth overall)
---Winter: 6    (thirtieth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Water Polo (15)
Greatest Olympians: Krisztina Egerszegi (swimming), Aladár Gerevich (fencing), Ágnes Keleti (gymnastics), Tamás Darnyi (swimming), András Balczó (pentathlon), László Papp (boxing), Dezső Gyarmati (water polo)
---London 2012 medal count: 17 (8 gold)
---2012's top performers: Daniel Gyurta, Aron Szilagyi, Krisztian Pars, men's and women's kayaking, Krisztian Berki, Eva Risztov
11) Russia- 488 total medals   (166 gold)
---Summer: 397    (twelfth overall)
---Winter: 91    (thirteenth overall)
Greatest Olympians: Alexander Popov (swimming), Lyubov Yegorova (cross-country skiing), Aleksandr Karelin (wrestling), Alexei Nemov (gymnastics), Dmitri Sautin (diving)
---London 2012 medal count: 82 (24 gold)
---2012's top performers: Men's volleyball, Ivan Ukhov, men and women's synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics team, Llya Zakharov, Mariya Savina, Sergey Kerdyapkin, Elena Yashmanova, Tatyana Lysenko, women's gymnastics, Anna Chicherova, Aliya Moustafina
12)  Australia- 477 total medals   (142 gold)
---Summer: 468    (tied for ninth overall)
---Winter: 9   (twenty-fifth overall)
Greatest Olympians: Ian Thorpe (swimming), Murray Rose (swimming), Dawn Fraser (swimming), Rechelle Hawkes (hockey)
---London 2012 medal count: 35 (7 gold)
---2012's top performers: Women's 4x100 freestyle relay team, Sally Pearson, Men's sailing, Anna Meares, Alicia Coutts
13)  Finland- 467 total medals   (147 gold)   
---Summer: 311   (fourteenth overall)
---Winter: 156    (sixth overall)
Greatest Olympians: Paavo Nurmi (middle and long-distance running), Ville Ritola (long-distance runner), Matti Nykänen (ski jumping), Clas Thunberg (speed skating)
---London 2012 medal count: 3 (0 gold)
---2012's top performers: Tuuli Petaja, women's sailing, Antti Ruuskanen.
14) Norway- 456 total medals   (165 gold)
---Summer: 153   (twenty-sixth overall)
---Winter: 303   (first overall)
Historically dominant sports: Nordic Combined (26),  Cross-Country Skiing (96)
Greatest Olympians: Bjørn Dæhlie (cross-country skiing), Ole Einar Bjørndalen (biathlon), Thomas Alsgaard (cross-country skiing), Kjetil André Aamodt (alpine skiing), Johann Olav Koss (speed skating), Sonja Henie (figure skating)
---London 2012 medal count: 4 (2 gold)
---2012's top performers: Women's handball, Eirik Veras Larsen
15)  Japan- 432 total medals   (139 gold)
---Summer: 395   (thirteenth overall)
---Winter: 37   (eighteenth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Judo (72), Synchronized Swimming (12)
Greatest Olympians: Sawao Kato (gymnastics), Tadahiro Nomura (judo), Akinori Nakayama (gymnastics), Mitsuo Tsukahara (gymnastics), Takashi Ono (gymnastics), Ryoko Tani (judo)
---London 2012 medal count: 38 (7 gold)
---2012's top performers: Kohei Uchimura, men's judo, men's wrestling
16) Canada- 425 total medals   (112 gold)
---Summer: 279   (sixteenth overall)
---Winter: 145   (seventh overall)
Historically dominant sports: Curling (8), Ice Hockey (18, 11 of which were golds)
Greatest Olympians: Clara Hughes (speed skating, cycling), Donovan Bailey (sprinting), Gaétan Boucher (speed skating)
---London 2012 medal count: 18 (1 gold)
---2012's top performers: Rasannagh Maclennan, men's and women's rowing
17)  Netherlands- 356 total medals   (108 gold)
---Summer: 270   (eighteenth overall)
---Winter: 86   (fourteenth overall)
Greatest Olympians: Fanny Blankers-Koen (track), Inge de Bruijn (swimming), Leontien van Moorsel (cycling)
---London 2012 medal count: 20 (6 gold)
---2012's top performers: Ranomi Kromowidjojo, Marianne Vos, women's field hockey
18) Switzerland- 329 total medals   (98 gold)
---Summer: 201   (twenty-third overall)
---Winter: 127   (ninth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Bobsledding (30)
Greatest Olympians: Vreni Schneider (alpine skiing), Georges Miez (gymnastics), Simon Ammann (ski jumping)
---London 2012 medal count: 4 (2 gold)
---2012's top performers: Nicola Spirig, Steve Guerdat
19)  Austria- 307 total medals   (80 gold)
---Summer: 106   (thirty-second overall)
---Winter: 201    (fourth overall)
Historically dominant sports: Alpine Skiing (105)
Greatest Olympians: Toni Sailer (alpine skiing), Hermann Maier (alpine skiing)
20)  Romania- 301 total medals   (88 gold)
---Summer: 300    (fifteenth overall)
---Winter: 1    (forty-first overall)
Greatest Olympians: Nadia Comăneci (gymnastics), Elisabeta Lipă (rowing), Ecaterina Szabo (gymnastics)
---London 2012 medal count: 9 (2 gold)
---2012's top performers: Sandra Raluca Izbasa, Alin George Moldoveanu
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Written by Ben Pogany
A look at baseball's twenty greatest voices and the iconic calls that made them legendary.

1)  Vin Skully- Dodgers
--"It is 9:46 PM, 2 and 2 to Harvey Kuenn, one strike away, Sandy into his wind up, here's the pitch..swung on and missed, a perfect game!"
--"So the winning run is at second base, with two out, 3 and 2 to Mookie Wilson...little roller up along first..behind the bag! It gets through Buckner! Here comes Knight and the Mets win it!"
--"In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened!"

2)  Mel Allen- Yankees
--"Sudden death now, last of the ninth. 9 to 9. There's a drive into deep left field, look out now… that ball is goooing, going gone! And the World Series is over! Mazeroski… hits it over the left field fence for a home run, and the Pirates win it 10-9 and win the World Series!"

3)  Jack Buck- Cardinals
--"Go crazy folks, go crazy!",
--"I don't believe what I just saw!"
--"And we'll see ya tomorrow night!"

4)  Red Barber- Dodgers
--"This is Red Barber speaking. Let me say hello to you all."
--"Here's a pitch...swung on, belted..its a long one..deep to the left center..back goes Giofreedo, back back back back back back..heee makes a one-handed catch against the bullpen!! Oh doctor!"

Ernie Harwell-Tigers
--"Long gone!"
6) Bob Prince- Pirates
--"A bloop and a blast" "Kiss it goodbye!"
7) Harry Caray- Cubs/Cardinals
--"Take me out to the baaallgaaame, take me out with the croooowd.."

8)  Russ Hodges- Giants

9)  Curt Gowdy- Red Sox and NBC national
--"It could could is!" (Williams homers in his final at bat)

10) Harry Kalas- Phillies
--"Heres the stretch by Robinson.. the 3-0 pitch...swing and a long drive...there it is...number 500...a career 500th home run for Michael Jack Schmidt!"
11)  Bob Elson-White Sox
12) Phil Rizzuto-Yankees
--"Holy cow!"
Bob Uecker- Brewers, national
"-Get up, get outa here"
14)  Milo Hamilton- Cubs/Braves/Pirates and four other clubs
--"He's sittin' on 714... Here's the pitch by Downing... swinging... there's a drive into left-center field... that ball is gonna beee... OUTTA HERE! IT'S GONE! IT'S 715! There's a new home run champion of all time... and it's HENRY AARON!"

Chuck Thompson- Orioles
--"Here's a swing and a high fly ball going deep to left, this may do it!…Back to the wall goes Berra, it is…over the fence, home run, the Pirates win!…Ladies and gentlemen, Mazeroski has hit a one-nothing pitch over the left field fence at Forbes Field to win the 1960 World Series for the Pittsburgh Pirates by a score of ten to nothing!"
16) Jerry Coleman- Padres
-"You can hang a star on that baby"

17) Bob Wolff-Senators
18) Jack Brickhouse- Cubs
--"Whoo, boy! Next time around, bring me back my stomach!" "Hey, hey!" "There's a long drive waaay back in center field...waaay baaack, baaack, it is...caaaaaught by Willie Mays! Willie Mays just brought this crowd to its feet... with a catch... which must have been an optical illusion to a lot of people."

Dave Niehaus- Mariners
--"Get out the rye bread and the mustard this time grandma, it is a GRAND SALAMI and the Mariners lead it 10-6! I don't believe it. My oh my!!"
20) Skip Caray- Braves
--"A lotta room in right-center, if he hits one there we can dance in the streets. The 2-1. Swung, line drive left field! One run is in! Here comes Bream! Here's the throw to the plate! He! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!...Braves win! They may have to hospitalize Sid Bream; he's down at the bottom of a huge pile at the plate. They help him to his feet. Frank Cabrera got the game winner! The Atlanta Braves are National League champions again! This crowd is going berserk, listen!"

Honorable Mentions:
Lindsey Nelson (Mets), Dizzy Dean (Browns, national), Joe Garagiola (national), Marty Brennaman (Reds), Ned Martin (Red Sox), Bob Murphy (Mets), Lon Simmons (Giants/A's), Bob Costas (national), Jimmy Dudley (Indians), Herb Carneal (Twins), Denny Matthews (Royals), Dave Van Horne (Expos), Arch McDonald (Senators), Tom Cheek (Blue Jays), Gene Elston (Astros), By Saam (Phillies), Tony Kubek (national), Jerry Remy (Red Sox),  Bill King (A's)

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Written by Ben Pogany

They say that those who can't do, teach.  When it comes to coaching football, however, a little on-field experience never hurt anyone.  Though the sidelines will never boast the skills of say the pregame roundtables, every once in awhile an athlete comes along who finds a way to transmit his own talents to the next generation.  Here are the former playing careers of today's NFL coaches.   

Mike Singletary (Vikings assistant)- Samurai Mike was a two-time All-American at Baylor University before being drafted by the Chicago Bears in 1981. He went on to start 172 games for the Bears during his 12-year career (second most in club history), amassing an impressive 1,488 career tackles.  One of the most frightening "Monsters of the Midway," Singletary was a seven time first team All-Pro and two time Defensive Player of the Year.  Elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1998, Singletary fared considerably less well on the sidelines, lasting a rough three years at the helm for the Niners from 2008-10.  He is currently an assistant for the Minnesota Vikings.
Jack Del Rio (former Jaguars coach)- The longtime Jags coach began his career as an All-American linebacker at USC, during which he would take MVP honors in the 1985 Rose Bowl. Del Rio concurrently excelled on the diamond, batting .340 and catching for a USC squad that included both a young Mark McGwire and Randy Johnson. Del Rio would be selected by the Saints in the 1985 NFL Draft, going on to play 11 years for four teams and earning All-Pro distinction in 1994. 
Mike Munchak (Titans)- Munchak was a nine time Pro-Bowl offensive guard for the Oilers, later elected to the 1980's All-Decade team.  He entered the Hall of Fame in 2001.
Ken Whisenhunt (Cardinals)- Whiz played for Georgia Tech in the early eighties, where he achieved first team All-ACC honors during his junior and senior seasons.  Drafted in the 12th round by the Atlanta Falcons, he would last four years as their tight end before stints with the Redskins and Jets.  In all, he spent 9 years playing in the NFL and almost a decade more coaching before taking the head reigns for the Cards in 2007.
Gary Kubiak (Texans)- A member of the Texas High School Football Hall of Fame, Kubiak started behind center for Texas A&M before going on to have the unfortunate position of playing behind John Elway in his nine seasons with the Broncos. 
Ron Rivera (Panthers)- The Panthers head man compiled the then record for sacks and career tackles at UCLA before submitting nine years at linebacker for the one of the all time defenses in the Chicago Bears of the mid-eighties..
Jim Zorn (Chiefs Assistant)- After going undrafted from Cal Poly Pomona, Zorn became the starting QB for the Seahawks from '76-'83, becoming the second player ever inducted into the Seahawks Ring of Honor.  He spent the next three years serving as backup for the Packers, Buccaneers, and Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
Lovie Smith (Bears)- A three-time high school state champion, Smith played college football at Tulsa, where he would garner two All-American nods at linebacker and safety.
Tom Coughlin (Giants)- Coughlin attended Syracuse University where he played running back.  In 1967, he set the school's single-season receiving record.
Sean Payton (Saints)- A journeyman in the truest sense, Payton holds the distinction of being the only athlete to ever start in five different football leagues over the course of just two years. A successful quarterback out of Eastern Illinois, Payton would go on to play in the inaugural season of the Arena Football League in 1987.  He was subsequently sold for $1,000 to the CFL's Ottawa Rough Riders before landing in the NFL as a Chicago "Spare Bear" scab during the '87 player's strike.  Once normal play resumed, Payton fell to the UK Budweiser National League, where he led the Leicester Panthers to the quarterfinals in his first and only year.  However, his journey had just begun.  Payton would ultimately coach at four different colleges and three different NFL teams before finally finding a home with the New Orleans Saints in 2006.
John Fox (Broncos)- Fox was a defensive back at San Diego State under future NFL head coach Herman Edwards.
Norv Turner (Chargers)- Backed up future Hall-of-Famer Dan Fouts for the Oregon Ducks of the early seventies.
Jim Harbaugh (49ers)- An all time Michigan great, Harbaugh excelled under center for the Bears and Colts, the latter electing him to their Ring of Honor for his winning leadership of their mid-nineties clubs.  Despite his success, he is perhaps best remembered around Indianapolis as the guy Peyton Manning replaced.
John Harbaugh (Ravens)- Older brother John was a defensive back at Miami.
Chan Gailey (Bills)- Quarterback at Florida.
Pat Shurmur (Browns)- Co-captained the Rose Bowl Champion 1988 Michigan St. Spartans.
Jason Garrett (Cowboys)- Long time backup to Troy Aikmen during the mid-nineties.
Jim Caldwell (Colts)- Defensive back at Iowa.
Leslie Frazier (Vikings)- Member of the "G Crew" who spent the early '80s as a defensive back with the Bears.  Coaches Frazier, Mike Singletary, Jeff Fisher, and Ron Rivera all received rings as players from the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Bears.
Jim Schwartz (Lions)- Schwartz played four years of linebacker for the Hoyas.
Andy Reid (Eagles)- Offensive guard for BYU.
Mike Shanahan (Redskins)- Quarterbacked at Eastern Illinois until a crushing hit on the practice field ruptured one of his kidney's, causing his heart to stop for over 30 seconds.  Shanahan was so close to death that a Catholic priest was actually summoned to read him his last rites.  Needless to say, that would mark the end of his playing days.
Mike Smith (Falcons)- An All-State linebacker in high school, Smith went on to grab defensive MVP honors twice for East Tennessee State before landing in the CFL for a short stint in 1982.
Rex Ryan (Jets)- Sexy Rexy served as a loyal foot soldier for Southwestern Oklahoma St Bulldogs, playing defensive end opposite his twin brother Rob in 1986.

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