Thursday Nov 23

Movie Quotes

1) Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

2) Harry:
What's her last name? I'll look it up.
---Lloyd: You know, I don't really recall. Starts with an S! Let's see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
---Harry: Maybe it's on the briefcase.
---Lloyd: Oh, yeah! It's right here.
---Lloyd: Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.

3) Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... YEAH!

4) Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
---Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.

5) Harry: Skis, huh?
---Beth: That's right.
---Harry: Great! They yours?
---Beth: Uh-huh.
---Harry: Both of 'em?
---Beth: Yes...
---Harry: Ah... cool!

6) Lloyd: Well suck me sideways!

7) Dale's Man: They're driving an '84... Sheepdog.

8) Lloyd: Mock
---Harry: Yeah!
---Lloyd: Ing
---Harry: Yeah!
---Lloyd: Bird
---Harry: Yeah!
---Lloyd: Yeah!
---Harry: Yeah!

9) Lloyd:
Tell her I'm rich, and I'm good looking, and I have, uh, a rapist's wit.

10) Bikini Girl: Hi guys. We're going on a national bikini tour, and we're looking for two oil boys who can grease us off before each competition.
---Harry: You are in luck! There's a town about three miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there.
1) The Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars? My father, was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and says, "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife. "WHY SO SERIOUS?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face." And...Why so serious?

2) The Joker: I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...stranger.

3) Harvey Dent: I make my own luck.

4) The Joker:
I'm gonna make this pencil disappear...

5) Alfred: Some men just want to watch the world burn.

6) Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight. You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands; and your plan, is to blackmail this person?

7) The Joker:
And here... we... go!

8) The Joker:
You... you... complete me.

9) The Joker: I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!

10) Batman: You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I can do those things. Because I'm not a hero, not like Dent. I killed those people. That's what I can be.
Lt. Gordon: No, no, you can't! You're not!
Batman: I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be.
Lt. Gordon: A hero. Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed. Nothing less than a knight. Shining....They'll hunt you.
Batman: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me. Set the dogs on me....Because that's what needs to happen...Because sometimes the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more...Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.
1) Wooderson: The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N.

2) Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

3) Slater: Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.

4) Wooderson:
Say, man, you got a joint?
---Mitch: No, not on me, man.
---Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you diid.

5) Wooderson: Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.

6) O'Bannion: Y'all ready to bust some ass?

7) Clint: I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer...Looks like we're almost outta beer.

8) Wooderson: All right, all right, all right.

9) Pink: I may play ball next fall, but I will never sign that. Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets. Top priority of the summer.

10) Pickford:
Slater-san, how's it goin'?
---Slater: Fixin' to be a lot better, man.

11) Slater: Shotgun!

12) Carl Burnett:
We're not in Junior High any more. We're freshmen. We're in the big time now... where the girls will be puttin' out all the time.

13) Wooderson: Party at the Moon Tower.

14) Dawson: Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.

15) Slater: George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.
1) Doc: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

2) Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me that you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?

3) Lorraine: This is all wrong. I don't know what it is. But when I kiss you, it's like I'm kissing... my brother. I guess that doesn't make any sense, does it?
---Marty McFly: Believe me, it makes perfect sense. 

4) Marty McFly: If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

5) Doc: If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.

6) Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?

7) Doc: This is it! This is the answer. It says here... that a bolt of lightning is going to strike the clock tower at precisely 10:04pm, next Saturday night! If... If we could somehow... harness this lightning... channel it... into the flux capacitor... it just might work. Next Saturday night, we're sending you back to the future!

8) Marvin Berry: Chuck. Chuck. It's Marvin - your cousin, Marvin BERRY. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this.

9) Young Doc: 1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigawatts?! Great Scott!

10) Biff: Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here?
1) Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
---Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
---Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

2) Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking/smoking/amphetamines/sniffing glue

3) Captain Oveur:
You ever seen a grown man naked?

4) Young Boy with Coffee:
---Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.

5) Ted Striker: And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem...

6) Rex Kramer: Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.

7) Second Jive Dude:
'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
---Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
---First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
---Old Woman: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.

8) Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
---Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

9) Elaine Dickinson:
There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

10) Elaine Dickinson:
Would you like something to read?
---Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
---Elaine Dickinson: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"
1) Forrest: My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

2) Jenny: Run, Forrest! Run!

3) Forrest: Stupid is as stupid does.

4) Bubba: Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.

5) Forrest: Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about money no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.

6) Forrest: That's all I have to say about that.

7) Jenny:
Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here.

8) Bumper Sticker Guy: Hey man! Hey listen, I was wondering if you might help me. 'Cause I'm in the bumper sticker business and I've been trying to think of a good slogan, and since you've been such a big inspiration to the people around here I thought you might be able to help me jump into - WOAH! Man, you just ran through a big pile of dog shit!
Forrest Gump: It happens.
Bumper Sticker guy: What, shit?
Forrest Gump: Sometimes.

9) Forrest:
She tasted like cigarettes.

10) Forrest: That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.

1) Michael: I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

2) Michael: There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

3) Hyman Roth: Michael, we're bigger than U.S. Steel.

4) Michael: I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies.

5) Kay: Oh, Michael. Michael, you are blind. It wasn't a miscarriage. It was an abortion. An abortion, Michael. Just like our marriage is an abortion. Something that's unholy and evil. I didn't want your son, Michael! I wouldn't bring another one of you sons into this world! It was an abortion, Michael! It was a son Michael! A son! And I had it killed because this must all end!

6) Michael: Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?

7) Michael: We're both part of the same hypocrisy, senator, but never think it applies to my family.

8) Johnny Ola: Hyman Roth always makes money for his partners. One by one, our old friends are gone. Death, natural or not, prison, deported. Hyman Roth is the only one left, because he always made money for his partners.

9) Signora Andolini: But Vito is only nine. And dumb-witted. The child cannot harm you.

10) Vito Corleone: My father's name was Antonio Andolini... and this is for you.
1) Thurgood: You have smoked yourself retarded.

2) Cocaine Addict (Bob Saget): Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

3) Thurgood:
I be from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy.
---Samson Simpson: What part of Jamaica?
---Thurgood: Right near da beach. Boy-eeee!

4) Thurgood: If I wasn't from Jamaica, then why would I be wearing this hat?

5) Scarface: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!

6) Sir-Smoke-Alot: Bitch! You know what I want! Hahahahaha! I wanna talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! 'Cause it's hard being black and gifted! Sometimes I wanna throw it all down and get lifted!

7) Brian: I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do and... FLIP OUT man... all I wanna know is one thing... who's coming with me?

8) Enhancement Smoker (Jon Stewart): You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.

9) Sir-Smoke-Alot: The doctor said I need a backiotomy!

10) Thurgood: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.

11) Nasty Nate: Next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail... FRUIT!

12) Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rottweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.
---Thurgood : You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

13) Thurgood: Abba Zaba, you my only friend.

14) Thurgood:
I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.

15) Thurgood:
I love weed, LOVE IT! Probably always will! But not as much as I love pussy! The end.

1) President Merkin Muffley: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!

2) General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless distinguishable, postwar environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.
---President Merkin Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!
---General "Buck" Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

3) Dr. Strangelove: Mein Führer! I can walk!

4) General Jack D. Ripper: Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh...I do not avoid women, Mandrake...But I...I do deny them my essence.

5) President Merkin Muffley: Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb... The bomb, Dmitri... The hydrogen bomb!... Well now, what happened is... ahm... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri... Let me finish, Dmitri... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri?... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... Of course I like to speak to you!... Of course I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it... They will not reach their targets for at least another hour... I am... I am positive, Dmitri... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then... I'd say that, ah... well, ah... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri... I know they're our boys... All right, well listen now. Who should we call?... Who should we call, Dmitri? The... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters... Where is that, Dmitri?... In Omsk... Right... Yes... Oh, you'll call them first, will you?... Uh-huh... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri... I'm very sorry... All right, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are... So we're both sorry, all right?... All right.

6) General Jack D. Ripper: I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

7) Colonel "Bat" Guano: Okay. I'm gonna get your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?
---Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: What?
---Colonel "Bat" Guano: You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.

8) General "Buck" Turgidson: Sir, you can't let him in here. He'll see everything. He'll see the big board!

9) Major T. J. "King" Kong: Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do.

10) Dr. Strangelove: Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
---Ambassador de Sadesky: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.

Page 3 of 6



100 Greatest Modern Actors
Greatest Movie Franchises
Hilarity Rankings
© Copyright Definitive Dose.  All Rights Reserved.