Saturday Nov 25

Ten Classic Quotes From Airplane

1) Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
---Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
---Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

2) Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking/smoking/amphetamines/sniffing glue

3) Captain Oveur:
You ever seen a grown man naked?

4) Young Boy with Coffee:
---Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.

5) Ted Striker: And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem...

6) Rex Kramer: Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.

7) Second Jive Dude:
'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
---Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
---First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
---Old Woman: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.

8) Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
---Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

9) Elaine Dickinson:
There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

10) Elaine Dickinson:
Would you like something to read?
---Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
---Elaine Dickinson: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

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